


All I Want For Christmas

by Khalindora



Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-11-27 16:41:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18196721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khalindora/pseuds/Khalindora
Summary: Two players with different problems learn what it's like to spent Christmas Eve alone.(Rating starts out G but goes up to E in the last chapter!)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written & posted back in 2005 on LJ.
> 
> Disclaimer: Obviously this has never happened!
> 
> Author's Note: I was told that this is sad, so be warned.
> 
> This is UNBETAED so there are most likely spelling mistakes, bad grammar and missing words.
> 
> Rating starts out G but goes up to E in the last chapter!

Cristiano hated the cold weather, no wonder as he was from a warmer region of this world yet as a child he had often wondered what it must be like to have a Christmas with snow. Back then he would have loved to experience it once and when he had moved to Manchester his mother had told him that maybe now he would get his childhood wish of a real Christmas.

However Christmas in England was not what he hoped it would be. Instead of snow all he got was wind so cold that his skin felt like freezing and not to mention the mixture of rain and ice that made him chill to his bones.

His view didn’t include a landscape covered in snow that looked all white and clean, it was exact the opposite, everything looked brownish and dirty. Not the perfect setting to put you in a Christmas mood.

Neither was the fact that he had to play football on days that once had been only reserved for family gatherings. Christmas time seemed to be the busiest time of the season and he had to adapt to not having a break anymore.

And this Christmas was his worst since he left Portugal. He was alone, even his mother wasn’t here; she had gone to Madeira to spent the holidays with the rest of his siblings. It was the first time in his life that Cristiano wouldn’t have anyone around at Christmas.

His spirits were so low that he couldn’t even get into the mood to go out and party which would ultimately result in him not having to be alone, but he had enough of partying for awhile. So he had settled for a lone night in front of his fireplace with a bottle of expensive Portuguese wine.

Cristiano stared into the flames, watching the fire lick over the wooden logs and consuming them with the typical cracking noises. This wasn’t how he had envisioned spending Christmas Eve. All by himself his only friend a bottle of wine, but then nothing had went the way he had wanted it to this year.

He had stopped counting the times he had been broken this season, only to be mended together to be broken all over again.

No success with United last season had left a bitter taste in his mouth, culminating in the FA Cup final which they lost on penalties to their archenemies Arsenal. At that point he hadn’t been able to repress the growing frustration within him and had shed tears till he had none left to shed.

But it really had all started at the beginning of the last season when he had to realize that his Ruud wasn’t his anymore and might never have been. The harsh reality had showed him that all the closeness he thought they had might have been nothing more than just a figment of his own imagination.

The way it looked Ruud hadn’t done what he did because he was fascinated with Cristiano but because he always took newbie’s at United under his wings. It had been him in his very first season, then Gabriel Heinze and this year it was Ji-Sung Park.

Cristiano would never forget the day he had waited for Ruud to fetch him for training like he had always done before. He had been standing at the doorstep giddy like a kid who was about to get a gift, waiting and waiting till he realized that Ruud would not come. So he had driven to Carrington by himself and then saw Ruud arriving there with Gabriel Heinze on the passenger seat.

In his anger and fury he had cornered Ruud after training demanding to know why he hadn’t come to get him and Ruud had snapped at him that he wasn’t his babysitter and that he knew his way around now.

That night he had cried himself to sleep not wanting to believe that Ruud had never seen more in him than a teammate which needed guidance. But after many painful months he had come to conclusion that it was indeed that way and that Ruud and him were nothing but teammates and might never be more than that.

The sound of a log cracking in two brought him back to reality. And he realized that his eyes were burning with unshed tears. Raising the bottle he gave a silent toast towards the photos on the mantelpiece before taking a large gulp out of it.

Luck had left him and things that used to turn to gold when he touched them now crumpled to ashes. Not only had he imagined things about Ruud but blow after blow had followed.

His Dad’s illness had gotten worse, despite everything Cristiano had tried. Not even bringing him to England for a better treatment had helped and in the end he had lost his father. A loss that he still had not gotten over yet.

His chest constricted painfully as he thought about his Dad and he put his face into his hands weeping in silence, rocking back and forth. What had he done to deserve this? Why did everyone he loved leave him? Was that how he was supposed to live from now on, void of any love?

Seeking some form of distraction after his father’s death he had gone out nearly every night, partying away which had resulted in yet another fiasco. Two girls he had gone out with one night had accused him of rape. He hadn’t even touched them and suddenly found himself the prime suspect of a rape investigation and on the title pages of every English tabloid.

While his siblings and friends had supported him, his mother hadn’t approved of his new habit of spending the nights out at clubs, especially as he was supposed to mourn his father’s loss. And she had let him feel it.

One day she had given him a long talk, telling him that he needed to stop behaving like a child as he wasn’t a child anymore but a man. And that if he didn’t start to act like a grown up he would find himself on his own very soon.

Maybe that was the reason she had left him for Christmas to give him a taste of what it was like to be alone in a foreign country with no one he could trust by his side.

A loud knock on the door startled him out of his reverie. Who would visit him at that time and on Christmas Eve? Everyone he knew here had a family to spend the evening with. Running his hands through his hair he got up and walked to the door.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written & posted back in 2005 on LJ.
> 
> Disclaimer: Obviously this has never happened!
> 
> Author's Note: While the first part was sad... this is angsty.
> 
> This is UNBETAED so there are most likely spelling mistakes, bad grammar and missing words.
> 
> Rating starts out G but goes up to E in the last chapter!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The streets he drove along lay silent and empty, something Ruud hadn’t encountered very often in his time here in Manchester. Then again it really wasn’t such a surprise to him, it was Christmas Eve after all and he guessed most people had better things to do then driving around at this godforsaken time.

Hadn’t it been for his fight with Leontien he wouldn’t be out here either. It wasn’t that she had kicked him out, no she had actually left and was probably on board a plane which took her home to Holland right now.

But he just couldn’t have stayed a minute longer inside his house. The silence in there had started to suffocate him. So he had grabbed his car keys and just left.

Ruud wasn’t even sure where he was heading to and at the moment it didn’t matter to him. Everything was better than being alone in that huge house which didn’t feel like home anymore without Leontien.

It had been such a stupid fight and his fucking temper had gotten the better of him. He couldn’t recall exactly what spiteful words he had thrown at her in his fury, but he remembered the tears in her eyes as she had slammed the door behind her.

God, he was such an idiot. What was it with him this year and not being able to keep himself under control? This wasn’t the first time that he had reacted like this. Every little thing seemed to set him off. But so far it had only happened on the pitch.

He stopped his car and turned the engine off. Leaning his head on the steering wheel he sighed, what should he do now? How could he make amends for what he just did? It was one thing to apologize to opponents or teammates but what did you say to your wife? Right, first he should call her.

Reaching for his cell phone he hit the speed dial button and waited… and waited… and got to hear that the person he was trying to reach was temporarily not available. Damn, that would have been too easy wouldn’t it?

Why did everything go wrong tonight? Cursing he got out of his car, needing the fresh air to clear his head. As he let his eyes wander around he suddenly noticed that somehow he had ended up in front of Cristiano’s house.

However something seemed off, the house lay in complete darkness and it looked abandoned. Taking a step forward he saw a small wooden sign in the dim light the street lamps cast. Ruud stared at the red letters that read ‘For Sale’ and then looked back at the house.

Right, Cristiano had moved, he remembered everyone teasing him about buying the haunted house which had belonged to many Manchester United players before.

But why had he come to Cristiano’s old place? He hadn’t been here in such a long time so why now? Maybe that part in him which regretted how things between him and Cristiano had turned out, had led him here?

Running a hand through his hair he looked up into the sky. If he was honest with himself he had to admit that it wasn’t just a part of him which missed the closeness they once had. No, the whole of him missed Cristiano and regretted cutting the special bond between them just because he had been scared of his own feelings for Cristiano.

At first the young Portuguese had been nothing more to him than a helpless teenager who had seemed in the need of guidance. Especially as Cristiano’s English had practically been non-existent and the boy had been too shy to ask for help.

Ruud remembered how one day after training Cristiano had stood there on the parking ground of the Carrington training complex, looking like a lost child and Ruud had no been able to bring himself to just drive by, not knowing if someone would give Cris a ride home.

So he had stopped his car, lowered his window and asked him if he needed a lift. It had been funny and oh so very complicated to get Cristiano to understand what he meant. In the end Cristiano had scribbled an address onto a small piece of paper and pressed it into his hand.

Ruud himself had no clue on how to get there but his navigational system knew. And he had been amused at the little excited noises Cristiano made every time he took the right corner.

From this day on he had taken Cristiano under his wings, fetching him for training and other appointments. And both learned that while they had trouble talking to each other, there was no such thing as a language barrier on the pitch.

They stayed behind after training, practising crosses and corners and the more time they spent together the more Ruud realized that very slowly his brotherly feelings towards Cristiano changed into something different.

More often he found himself staring at the Portuguese, admiring his lithe body and the way he moved with such a grace he himself would never possess.

He also wasn’t sure if it annoyed him that little by little Cristiano started to fit into the role of Becks on and off the pitch, or if he actually appreciated that Cristiano suddenly cared so much about his looks.

Maybe Cristiano had done that from the start and he just hadn’t noticed, like he hadn’t noticed before how much he actually loved Cristiano smiling at him. Or how good he felt in his arms, when they hugged while celebrating a goal.

There were many little things that made him realize he was attracted to the teenager and it confused him greatly. He had never been in a situation like this before, had always considered himself as a straight guy, what the hell was up with him now? Ruud was at a loss on what to do so he chose the only thing that seemed right, end it all together, their friendship, their closeness… everything.

He knew that he hadn’t only hurt himself with his decision, remembered Cristiano first being angry and then just plain disappointed in him. But he had thought it was for the best.

However standing on the doorstep of Cristiano’s old house brought back all those buried memories and emotions, and for the first time he regretted his decision. Maybe he shouldn’t have been such a coward and just waited what would have happened. After all he had never been sure if Cristiano had reciprocated his feelings.

“May I help you, sir?” Startled Ruud whipped around and immediately shielded his eyes from a blinding light.

“Ah no, I wanted to visit someone but he doesn’t live here anymore.” Ruud said, still holding his hands up to cover his eyes.

“Oh!” The voice said and suddenly turned off the flashlight. “I’m sorry Mr. Van Nistelrooy. I hadn’t recognized you immediately.”

As Ruud’s eyes adjusted to the darkness again, he made out a rather haggard looking man standing a couple of feet away from him. He had seen this guy before; it was a neighbour of Cristiano.

“Did you intend to visit Mr. Ronaldo?” Before Ruud had a chance to reply the man went on. “He doesn’t live here anymore.”

Ruud rolled his eyes; as if he hadn’t figured that out already. “Yeah, I forgot he had moved.”

He made his way over to his car, wanting to get away not being in the mood for chit chat with a stranger.

“But it’s nice to know that the neighbourhood here looks after each other.” Ruud said, turning and smiling at the man. “Merry Christmas!”

“And the same to you,” The stranger said, returning his smile.

Finding himself driving along on the streets once more Ruud’s thoughts returned to Cristiano. Maybe he should visit him, just wishing him the best for Christmas and generally checking up on him. Cristiano had been through a lot in the last couple of months.

But what if the Portuguese didn’t want to see him and would just slam the door into his face? No, that wouldn’t happen. They had been on good terms lately and he knew Cristiano’s mother would prevent him from doing such a thing.

Yes, he would visit Cristiano and the thought of seeing the Portuguese suddenly made him feel a lot better.

Upon arriving he noticed that this house also looked abandoned. There were no lights on. Strange, did Cristiano and his family go out on Christmas Eve?

Frowning Ruud parked his car and got out of it. As he approached the mansion he noticed light flickering behind the curtains, so someone was home. That was good, or was it? All of a sudden he felt anxious again; maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to come here after all.

“Get a grip on yourself,” Ruud murmured, mentally whacking himself.

He reached out, knocked on the door and waited.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~


	3. Chapter 3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The door was jerked open and the first thing Ruud noticed were the red and swollen eyes of his Portuguese teammate.

“Cris?”

“Ruud?” Cristiano seemed just as surprised as he was but for apparently different reasons.

“Why do you come here?” Cristiano asked, taking a step back and bidding him inside.

“I… umm…” Ruud was at a loss for words; he wanted to ask why Cris had been crying but that wouldn’t do as a hello. “I wanted to wish you a merry Christmas.”

Cristiano arched an eyebrow at that. “You saying that yesterday after training.”

Shit, of course, he had already wished everyone happy holidays when he left after training yesterday. And now he wanted to smack himself for not coming up with a better reason.

“Look, I…” Peeking around he noticed that Cristiano seemed to be alone. “Where is your family?”

“In Portugal,” Cristiano said, the tone of his voice clearly telling that he didn’t want to talk about it. Instead he gestured to the couch. “Sit down, drink?”

“Soda, please,” Ruud slipped out of his coat and walked over to the fireplace, his fingers felt like icicles.

But he had barely taken two steps as his foot hit something looking down he noticed that he had knocked over a bottle of wine. Cursing he bent down and put the bottle on the table, to his surprise he hadn’t spilled much, the bottle must have been nearly empty.

So Cristiano had obviously tried to drown his sorrow with alcohol, Ruud shook his head, he had never approved of this solution.

He heard the tapping of naked feet on the tiles and turned around, Cristiano stood beside the sofa and handed him a glass of water.

“Why have you been drinking?” Ruud asked studying Cristiano but the Portuguese just shrugged his shoulders.

“It was a good idea… I think,” Cristiano said, his eyes lingering on the empty wine bottle.

Ruud frowned he was still puzzled that Cris was alone on Christmas eve, if anything he would have thought that at least his mother would be with him.

“Why isn’t your mother with you?”

“Maybe she hates me?” Cristiano said, sitting down beside him and staring into the fire.

“Come off it,” Ruud snorted and reached out to cover Cristiano’s hand with his own. “Your mum loves you.”

Cristiano looked at him and Ruud noticed tears welling up in the Portuguese’s eyes.

“Not anymore,” He sobbed covering his face with his hands and shaking his head. “No one loves me anymore.”

It pained Ruud to watch Cristiano bathe in self-pity and even if everything inside him screamed for him to say ‘But I love you!’ he couldn’t bring himself to tell Cristiano a lie, as it would be nothing more than that.

So he went with the only other thing he could think of to make Cristiano snap out of it. Grabbing his wrists he forced him to reveal his tear streaked face and look at him.

“Stop that, stop putting yourself down.” The words came out harsher than he had intended to and he watched him flinch away. Letting go of Cristiano’s wrists he brought his hands up and cupped the Portuguese’s face. “Don’t say things that aren’t true.”

“But they left me!”

“Yes, they are not here tonight, but no matter what you do or have done, your family and friends will always love you.”

Cristiano bit his lips and for a moment Ruud thought he had convince him that he was just telling himself lies, however he had not counted on Cristiano’s stubbornness.

“But I’m alone!” He exclaimed balling his hands into fists. “They never… not Christmas.”

“You aren’t alone,” Ruud stated the obvious, his fingers still stroking over Cristiano’s face. “I’m here.”

That prompted a small smile and Cristiano leant into his touch. “Yes, you are.” Then he frowned and drew back. “Why are you here, Ruud?”

He shrugged still not quite sure on what to say, maybe it time for the truth… or a part of it. “I was alone too.”

“But your wife…” Cristiano started but Ruud cut him off.

“We fought and she left.”

“Oh.”

“It was about some stupid silly thing.” Ruud ran a hand through his hear, a gesture he always did when he was nervous or felt guilty. “It was my fault. I couldn’t keep my big mouth shut again.”

This time it was Cristiano who reached for him, squeezing his hand as if to encourage him to go on.

“I really did a lot of things this year that I shouldn’t have done.” Ruud glanced briefly at Cristiano before looking down. “And not just this year.” His last words were barely audible.

Not being able to sit so close to a person he knew he had hurt badly, he got up and walked over to the window.

“I’m so sorry, Cris. I should have never pushed you away like I did.” He took a deep breath, apologizing was something he had never been good at, but this time he had to make it right. “I should have been here for you. We were friends, close friends and I… I fucked up. I’m sorry.”

There was no reply, which in a way Ruud had expected. Yet, a tiny part of him had hoped Cristiano would say something… anything. But the minutes ticked by and the only sounds that could be heard was the occasional crack of the fire.

Ruud knew he couldn’t stand here forever and just as he was about to turn around announcing that he would go now, he felt two arms encircling his waist and a warm body pressing against him from behind.

“I do not know right words,” Cristiano whispered into his ear. “But thank you.”

Turning around, his heart hammering in his chest, Ruud smiled at him. Did this mean Cristiano actually forgave him for being such a jerk?

Unsure of what to say it was him that hugged Cristiano tightly this time. And there it was again, that familiar feeling he had always experienced during such moments.

His skin prickled and it felt like a thousand butterflies had found a new home in the pit of his stomach. He breathed in Cristiano’s scent and realized just how much he really had missed this. His fingers stroked over the Portuguese’s back, drawing circles before digging in deep.

For a few moments neither of them moved, revelling in the contact of being so close together once more and then it was Cristiano who slowly drew back, looking into his eyes.

Ruud wasn’t sure what shocked him more, the longing he saw in those dark eyes or his own reaction to it. As he couldn’t stop himself from bending down and capturing Cristiano’s lips with his own.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~


	4. Chapter 4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"I’m so sorry, Cris. I should have never pushed you away like I did."

Cristiano couldn’t believe it, so many times had he hoped to hear those words. And now, now he wasn’t sure what to say. His mind was a whirlwind of emotions and the wine he had consumed didn’t make it any easier to clear his head.

He opened his mouth but no words came from his lips. There was a fight going on inside of him, his proud and stubborn part didn’t want to make it that easy for Ruud to just forgive him with this apology, the Dutchman had after all caused him months of heartache and pain.

But the other part wanted nothing more than that, to just forgive and have their friendship back, no actually that part wanted more than just Ruud’s friendship but he guessed that this might be a bit too much to ask at the moment.

The silence between them stretched and became awkward, and Cristiano realized that if he wouldn’t say anything soon Ruud would just leave and they might never get close again. He couldn’t let that happen.

Getting up from the coach he walked over to the Dutchman and let his instincts take over as he curled his arms around Ruud’s waist.

The moment his body touched Ruud’s a jolt of pleasure ran through him. It had been ages since he had been so close to the striker.

Biting down on his lip he controlled himself, refraining from pressing a soft kiss to the Dutchman’s neck, instead he nuzzled his face into the soft skin and told him that he was grateful for the apology.

To his surprise Ruud turned around in his arms and pulled him close. Cristiano pressed himself against the warm and solid frame of the Dutchman, taking comfort in the tight embrace.

Oh, how he had longed for this, to feel Ruud’s heart beating against his own, his arms around him and his breath tickling the sensitive skin of his neck. And for the first time in months he realized that felt safe and content.

As Ruud drew back he let out a noise of disapproval. But instead of severing the contact between their bodies Ruud didn’t let go of him he just looked into his eyes and Cristiano wondered what the Dutchman saw in them.

He felt Ruud cupping the back of his neck and before his brain even registered what was happening Ruud’s lips were upon his own, warm soft and without any notion of demand.

The kiss was shy; as if Ruud himself wasn’t sure what he was doing but for Cristiano this was familiar territory and he would not allow this to end before it had even begun.

His arms came up, twining in the Dutchman’s hair and he parted his lips giving Ruud the chance to deepen the kiss.

Again, the first brush of Ruud’s tongue against his was hesitant and Cristiano made an impatient sound which finally seemed to spur the Dutchman on.

As their tongues caressed and battled for dominance, Cristiano couldn’t help it and rubbed himself against Ruud, letting him feel just how much he enjoyed this, how much he wanted this.

His fingers tugged on Ruud’s shirt till he managed to pull it out of his jeans to slide his hands underneath it. He ran his fingers over the warm skin of Ruud’s back who growled low in this throat and pushed him back.

For a split second Cristiano thought he had gone too far and that maybe Ruud had changed his mind but then he felt the couch hit the back of his knees and with a smirk Ruud pushed him backwards. He yelped as he fell down on the soft mattress and before he had a chance to chide the Dutchman for his behaviour he found himself pressed even deeper into the cushions with Ruud on top of him.

Ruud attacked his neck with little licks and nips that drew moan after moan from him.

Oh god, yes, screw hugging that was what he had longed for. This was not the innocent touches they had shared before there was no mistaking in what both of them wanted this time.

His cock was straining against his jeans and he bucked his hips into Ruud’s, needing more of that delicious friction. As if on cue Ruud pulled back only to make room to move a hand between their bodies squeezing Cristiano’s clothed erection.

Cristiano mewled and thrust his hips into the touch. He was so close to begging now, but there was no need for it, as Ruud slowly unbuttoned his jeans, slid a hand inside and freed his aching prick.

He arched his back and moaned again as Ruud stroked him hard and fast. Yet he couldn’t just lie there and do nothing, he wasn’t used to that. His fingers found their way to the visible bulge between the Dutchman’s legs and with a satisfied little smile he felt Ruud buck into his hand.

Not wasting anymore time, he unzipped Ruud’s jeans and grasped the Dutchman’s cock squeezing it equally hard. Ruud growled into their kiss and thrust into his hand.

There was no holding back now; their kisses became desperate as did the movements of their hands. Cristiano writhed under Ruud’s touch, as the Dutchman brought him closer and closer to the edge.

“Come for me…” Ruud whispered against his lips.

And that was all it took, with a loud moan, he bucked his hips up one final time spilling his seed over the striker’s hand.

Cristiano was still trembling in the aftermath of his orgasm, his breathing erratic and little bursts of pleasure still coursing through his body as he tried to focus his attention back onto the man lying on top of him whose cock still pulsed hot and hard in his hand.

He rubbed his thumb over the velvety tip of Ruud’s cock before grasping it firmly and quickening the strokes of his hand.

For Cristiano it was one of the most beautiful things to behold as he watched the Dutchman reach his climax. Ruud had his eyes screwed shut and was biting down on his lips thrusting into his hand till Cristiano felt him shiver and stain his fingers with his white hot release.

Cristiano held Ruud close to him and chuckled as the striker muttered a ‘Merry Christmas’ into his neck.

He stroked over Ruud’s back, placing a soft kiss into the Dutchman’s hair, who snuggled even closer to him.

Right now he wasn’t sure what tomorrow would bring but he knew one thing for sure… this was one of the best Christmas Eve’s of his whole life.

Just before sleep claimed him, he silently thanked the fates which had turned this awful night into one he would never forget.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
END


End file.
